April 22, 2020
Sad Fact: Emotional Intelligence is often lacking in wedding planning. So many couples get dragged in by the excitement of planning a wedding, that emotional intelligence tends to get pushed aside.
What is emotional intelligence you ask? It’s that special skill that allows you to be in tune with other people. And the most important people you need to be in tune with when planning a wedding is yourself and your partner. Emotional Intelligence involves being aware of, understanding, managing, and even harnessing your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.
So why do I say it’s lacking from wedding planning? Well, planning a wedding often changes people–at least momentarily. Think about it…when was the last time a particular style of chair or a specific shade of pale pink really mattered that much in to you? I mean, of course getting married will change your life forever – obviously. But planning your wedding will do the same thing if you let it. Even people who consider themselves to be pretty even keeled can turn in to nit-picky, obsessive, jerks when planning their wedding. I’ve seen it happen!
A multitude of stressors is often to blame for this phenomenon. Everything from making a million decisions every day, to budgeting, to family dynamics. According to a study on brides.com “40% of couples categorized wedding planning as ‘extremely stressful’ while 71% thought it was more nerve-wracking than other major life events like finding a new job”.
Steering through the choppy waters of wedding planning can test your relationship with your family, friends and maybe even with each other. If it starts to feel that way, here are some tips.
The first thing I want you to do is take the focus off whatever else is going on, and focus on each other. Of course you want to have a fabulous wedding (and I definitely want you to have that too), but no disagreement over a wedding plan is worth jeopardizing what you have. Before saying “I Do,” take a moment to pause and figure out who you are as a couple.You might think you know. Still, take the time to clarify. Months of over-planning, over-analyzing and stress will drive people apart. Stop, sit down, and take a good hard look at the big picture. When you do take the time to set your priorities straight, it will change everything.
The second thing I want you to do is seek some help. One of the things I do is provide consulting services for a limited number of do-it-yourself brides. Holding their hands via telephone and email, coordinating with their vendors as needed and generally giving them a blueprint for a stress-free wedding day. All of my brides tell me that their stress levels greatly reduce or diminish the minute they hire me. Just knowing that someone is there to make sure everything is going run smoothly is a great stress reducer.
But even if you can handle the planning on your own, the day of your wedding you’re going to want to enjoy your day knowing that a professional is in charge. Brides who have hired a coordinator often say it was the best money they have ever spent. Our team of professional coordinators is hand-picked for their talent and experience in the business. Our services will allow you to enjoy the wedding day as we execute your vision and create an unforgettable experience for both you and your guests.
Just remember, you’re getting married because you want to spend the rest of your lives together. The most important thing is that the two of you get married and live happily ever after. So give yourself a little grace. If you are someone who normally has a high degree of emotional intelligence, but are finding it hard to manage your emotions effectively or keep yourself calm when it comes to planning your wedding, try just focusing on your relationship and leave the rest to those who can help you get through this process unscathed!
If you are planning a wedding in the Washington, DC area, Contact Us for more information about the services we provide.